Understanding anger, distress and frustration

Anger, distress and frustration can look similar at reception but stem from different causes. A patient may be frightened, in pain, embarrassed, grieving, confused, worried about someone else, or exhausted from trying to access care.

Strong emotion is information: it shows something matters to the person. It does not excuse abuse, threats, discrimination or behaviour that makes staff or other patients unsafe.

Look beneath the emotion

The first useful question is not "Why are they being difficult?" but "What is happening here, and what needs to happen next?" That shifts focus away from personal reactions and toward practical safety and next steps.

• Fear: the person may be worried a symptom, result or delay indicates something serious.
• Pain or illness: discomfort can reduce patience, concentration and communication.
• Access frustration: the person may feel blocked by phone queues, online forms or repeated call-backs.
• Confusion: the person may not understand why they have been redirected or asked for information.
• Previous experience: an earlier missed call, complaint or perceived dismissal may shape the current contact.

Separate emotion, behaviour and risk

Separate three things: the person's feelings, their behaviour, and any health or safety risk. Someone can be distressed and need compassion, angry and still need the correct appointment route, or behave in a way that triggers staff safety procedures.

Do not assign labels such as "attention seeking", "manipulative" or "difficult". Record what was said or done, what risk was identified, and what action was taken.

Do Not Diagnose Behaviour

Strong emotion is not the whole story; the current need still has to be handled safely.