Handling Personal Approaches

Staff may sometimes receive advances from patients or colleagues. Responses should be clear and kind, recorded in notes, and planned with safety in mind so that care can continue without pressure. ^[1][2][3]

Patients who make advances

Give a polite acknowledgement but set a firm boundary. If needed, care should be transferred to another colleague. ^[2][3]

Professional rules forbid personal relationships with patients.

^[2]

If advances continue, a behaviour letter may be needed. Gifts should follow policy: all items logged, and expensive ones declined. ^[3][6]

Colleagues who persist

Repeated approaches after refusal may amount to harassment. State the impact and ask firmly for it to stop. If behaviour continues, use formal reporting routes. Keep communications on work channels, save relevant messages as evidence, and follow escalation policy fairly. ^[3][2][4]

Short scripts for common cases

• Patient: "Thank you for the compliment, but I cannot see patients socially. I’m happy to continue your care professionally." ^[3]
• Colleague: "Please stop sending personal messages. I want our working relationship to stay professional." ^[3]

Safety and dignity

Plan exits from rooms, keep chaperones available, and call for support if behaviour escalates. On home visits, leaving and rebooking may be safest. Record why the decision was made and notify leads. ^[2][5]

Documentation and escalation

Notes should record:

• who made the approach
• what was said or given
• when boundaries were set
• why further action was needed

Add gift register entries, copies of messages, or decisions to reallocate care if relevant. ^[4][3][2]

Clear team roles

Reception and managers should know how to support boundary letters, rebooking, and behaviour flags, in line with policy and UK GDPR. Keep communication respectful and fair. ^[1][4][3]

Reducing repeat problems

Team briefings, small layout changes, working in pairs, and shared scripts can reduce repeat risk. Practising responses builds confidence to set limits early. ^[3][1]

Wellbeing

Advances may feel flattering or unsettling. Normalising quick debriefs and encouraging use of support services helps. Setting clear boundaries protects both staff and patients while keeping focus on care. ^[7][3]

References (numbered in text) Why we include references

1. Standards for optical businesses (effective from 1 January 2025) — General Optical Council Find (opens in a new tab)
2. Maintaining personal and professional boundaries — General Medical Council Find (opens in a new tab)
3. If you've been sexually harassed at work — Acas Find (opens in a new tab)
4. Employment practices and data protection: keeping employment records — Information Commissioner's Office Find (opens in a new tab)
5. Protecting lone workers: How to manage the risks of working alone — Health and Safety Executive Find (opens in a new tab)
6. Managing conflicts of interest in the NHS — NHS England Find (opens in a new tab)
7. Berry K, Allsopp K, Gaskin F, Price O. Staff support for workplace trauma: a freedom of information act request survey for NHS trusts providing mental health care in England. J Ment Health. 2024. Find (opens in a new tab)